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Live at Twin Shrieks 2020

by Twin Peaks Sessions

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1.
What can I do? I’m useless like this to you. I’ve got no heart and my clichés are in a dead end and I’ll never be anything more than a disappointment to my self-esteem though it seems in my wildest dreams. Still I, you and I wither and die. What can I say after that day you left me speechless? What can I say? Well I…I guess I won’t say anything then. I’ll never create anything that’s worth something. I’ll never create anything. Never be anything.
2.
Every day In my face Reminding me Nothing’s gonna change
3.
Palms in sweat, head feels crunched Knees feel weak, can't get up Depressed, repress, not all done Move on man, I cant wait go on You can't run away, I'm always here Running you down, with all that wear Just give up, I'll be near To take you over, this I swear You can't run away, I'm always here Running you down, with all that wear Just give up, I'll be near To take you over, this I swear I am disease I am disease By now you're tired, trying to breathe You can't go on, but don't worry Just rest, lay down, and lie, You know you are soon to die By now you're tired, trying to breathe You can't go on, but don't worry Just rest, lay down, and lie, You know you are soon to die I am sick and I'm aware (Ex)'Cept you don't know, why I'm here To make you all sick, all with me To give you purpose, get rid of me I am disease I am disease I am disease Get rid of me I am disease Get rid of me
4.
Paint you on the side of the liquor store when you die The one on Catalina and 8th. Paint you into a corner, paint you in shades of everything. Learn to feign from sedatives, as if I could learn to taste from medicine. Paint you in blue and orange (as if I could). Curse me out loud. Wish for death. Stick around. Mouth the words but hate the sound. Hope there's not more to go around.
5.
6.
Morning after is not that fun Cause all I can think about Is what I did wrong And I'm scared That when I send that text You won't answer for the last time The laundry machine's so fucking loud I can't hear myself think Tornados scream outside my house And I just want clean sheets And I'd turn it off but I need clean clothes Cause I'm seeing you today I made a fool out of myself Which normally would be okay But you were standing next to me I just had to vomit on myself While wearing your favorite hoodie And I'll never get that drunk again At least no on purpose
7.
What did you say I'm not your babe What did you say I'm not your babe What made you think it was fine To open up with that line See I'm not here for you So what you gonna do What did you say I'm not your babe What did you say I'm not your babe What you call charm is just crass And no, you don't get a pass See I'm not here for your moves So what you gonna do
8.
I’ve been overwhelmed with overthinking things that don’t exist And I’ve been planning what to tell you but now I can’t think of it And should stop drinking my weight in alcohol and Coca-Cola As she gestures to the water, she says “Drink it like it’s soda” Maybe things won’t be alright You haunt me every single night Old movies spit that bullshit you keep saying every single time My horoscope says I'm abysmal Life’s a big long huge mixed signal When tomorrow comes today Pray our forever’s here to stay She’s my baby but she just don’t know it yet As we made our way downtown, she said “The good life ain’t for me” I caught her dusting off old yearbooks earlier in that same week We tossed out her prescriptions, orange bottles hit the street When she merged onto the freeway I unbuckled from my seat I wasn't built to face this city all these buildings stare me down I feel your eyes on me, defenseless even when you’re not around And I should stop giving my heart over to those who don’t deserve it 'Cause every love is bound to vanish in a single fleeting moment She’s my baby but she just don’t know it yet She’s my baby but she just don’t know it C’mon baby, won’t you rest your little head She’s my baby but she just don’t know it I made a promise to myself I wouldn't let it get this bad But I have broken it before, guess I’m just not an honest man Sometimes I'm scared about the future but I'm fed up with the past Now this is all we’ll ever have and all that wasn’t made to last I should have drank myself to death but now I'm swinging for the fences Throw me off the overpass, bypass the funeral expenses Close out all my bank accounts, give all my money to the poor And you can feast on my cadaver with someone worth something more She’s my baby but she just don’t know it yet She’s my baby but she just don’t know it C’mon baby, won’t you rest your little head She’s my baby but she just don’t know it yet I know it’s hard, I know it’s hard
9.
Another long last look from the back of the ambulance And a wave goodbye to the quiet Life Now everyday it’s the same sound like a chorus me A book of hymns with a single page Singing No there’s no coming back from this one I know that I'm never coming back from this one I can't walk away Another long last look while the world falls away from me but I’m not waking up from the dream I’ve been baptized in the desert with the blood of my friends I can hear it calling me And I know There’s no coming back from this one I know that I'm never coming back from this one No now I’ll never be the same after this one, The person that I was is gone And I’m never coming back from this one I can’t walk away You left a Big Sound moving through my spirit I looked down through the leaves of my Sycamore Tree Like I was watching a myth hit reality the pieces of a past life lost in the wind Now I can feel it work it’s way into all that I see A future painted by grief A past that reads like a fictional history My sorry echos in between Could you hear it? Like I hear that sound No there’s no coming back from this one I know there's no coming back from this one No there’s no coming back from this one I know there's no coming back from this one I can't walk away
10.
They said that I could never change I'm still the same That's what they said, that's what they say Stuck in my ways There's almost nothing to be said Stuck in my head Feels like I'm bound to my bed I'm tired, i could be worse Feels bad, but it don't hurt Burnt out, when will I learn? I miss the me that didn't care The new one's scared That's what they tell me, I don't care Who fuckin' cares? I think that I'm too self-aware But I'm fine, I'm alright I've settled for less It's fine, but not preferred I'm hurt, there are no words I'll be an art teacher I wish I cared enough I wish I cared I wish I cared enough Why do I have to be someone?

about

Recorded live at Twin Shrieks 2020 in Oakland, CA on March 7th, 2020. For a good majority of us, this was the last live performance we witnessed before lockdown. We really hope to get back out there soon, so please stay safe, and take care of yourselves and each other.

Put on by Twin Peaks Sessions, an all-inclusive music collective hosting recorded sessions in San Francisco, and DIY gigs throughout the Bay Area.

Thank you all for the continued support. Name your price on any of the tracks/full album, all proceeds help fund Twin Peaks Sessions and will go towards our next Twin Shrieks Fest :)

credits

released March 9, 2021

Live recording and mix by Macky Ybanez
Photos by Rianne Garrido
Album art by Jonathan Abrams

Thanks to all the bands, volunteers, and attendees. Miss and love you all.

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Twin Peaks Sessions San Francisco, California

Twin Peaks Sessions is an all-inclusive music collective hosting recorded sessions in San Francisco, and DIY gigs throughout the Bay Area. Our Bandcamp features live sets from our annual Twin Shrieks fest

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